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About this Blog

My darlings. Greetings and welcome to the undead and aspiring undead among you.

As you know, our lives as vampires are no longer what they used to be. Once, in a glorious frenzy of bloodlust, we could seduce humans, feed and kill undetected, but no more. Now millions follow our every move in books, TV, film and on this wonderful web.

I''m hardly surprised. We are irresistible no? So erotic, so dangerous, so charming. And we possess two things every human  desires more than anything.

Eternal life.

Eternal thinness. 

And yet, I will be frank. We, you, need to dress better. The black capes, velvet gowns, pasty faces and bloodshot eyes have to go. We have committed the worst sin one can, dead or undead.

We have become a cliché. If I wasn't already dead, I would stake myself over this.

My dear  bloodsuckers, we now live in a century where image is everything. Breathers  have  done research that reveals how you  look determines how people relate to you, and  therefore offer their necks to you.

Dress fabulously, feed fantastically!

I know the names Dior, Balmain, Versace and Calvin Klein are not familiar to you, and yet they must be. Let me help you reinvent yourself as an undead fashionista, an aficionado of haute couture, ready-to-wear, the Gap and Topshop.

Trust me, nightwalkers. I have worked in the fashion industry in Paris, Milan, London and New York. I knew Marie Antoinette, sewed gowns for Christian Dior and designed for Ralph Lauren. I have styled stars for the Oscars and now work inside a major fashion magazine. 

And I am a vampire. No, I’m not the only one in the fashion industry. We undead toil inside a number of  fabulously chic establishments, some even run them.

Oh, darlings, if only you knew.

 Scarlett xxxx

Buy the Book!


Book Excerpts


Diet and Exercise

Twice a year in the fashion capitals of New York, Paris, London and Milan humans perform an important ritual called Fashion Week. At this event, extremely chic mortals sit and watch a breed called models glide past them wearing next seasons stylish offerings. click here for more


We know it. They know it. We undead are the ultimate erotic experience. Our super vampire strength means we can go all night and seduce for all eternity. Once a human has submitted their flesh to our desires, there is no going back for them. click here for more


Dear Edward Cullen, thank you! You are the most famous vampire of our time. Everyone adores you, four books have been written about you, and you have made us so proud. You are the best dressed teenage vampire I have encountered anywhere. click here for more


Living Proof

PRPhotos.comHere is living proof that some humans get dressed in the dark.  I'm not sure  what Sharon Stone was thinking showing up like this on the Oscar red carpet. Is she in a witness protection program for ostriches? Was she cleaning  furniture just before she got in the limo and decided to use the duster as a brooch? We can't always look in mirrors, but Sharon honey, you can.


Purple reign

PRPhotos.comMaybe because they don't live forever, humans try to pack many lives into one. Take Carla here. Model, singer, First Lady of France- I need to lie down in my coffin just to process it. Here she is in Dior.  If you wear this coat, I can’t guarantee you will rule France, but I can promise humans will be unable to resist you.  Great fashion has that kind of power, darlings.


True fabulous


Photo: Rolling Stone

I preach the gospel of chic, but if you feel like going naked, this is how to do it kids - covered in nothing but our favorite food. My fangs are quivering right now. These two vampires and the human between them are quite edible too, no? Note to zombies: this directive does not apply to you. Stay dressed okay? There is already enough ugly on the planet.


Hungry, ma'am?

Given we are always hungry to feed, it is a good idea to work a full size bib into your look to clean up after a tasty human snack. See how Michelle does it? Very chic. I hear she feeds exclusively on Republicans. Well, they do taste like country clubs and caviar. 


It's in the bag

Photo: Marion Cotillard by Mert and Marcus for Lady DiorI'm a diehard believer a great handbag will dress up any look, but when  you're undead,  they  have another use. They're fantastic for carrying body parts if you have to dismember after a kill. This gorgeous Lady Dior bag has room not just for hearts, legs and livers, but your iPad, Blackberry and all the books in the Twilight series. Remember, a chic vampire reads and emails as well as bites.

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