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About this Blog

My darlings. Greetings and welcome to the undead and aspiring undead among you.

As you know, our lives as vampires are no longer what they used to be. Once, in a glorious frenzy of bloodlust, we could seduce humans, feed and kill undetected, but no more. Now millions follow our every move in books, TV, film and on this wonderful web.

I''m hardly surprised. We are irresistible no? So erotic, so dangerous, so charming. And we possess two things every human  desires more than anything.

Eternal life.

Eternal thinness. 

And yet, I will be frank. We, you, need to dress better. The black capes, velvet gowns, pasty faces and bloodshot eyes have to go. We have committed the worst sin one can, dead or undead.

We have become a cliché. If I wasn't already dead, I would stake myself over this.

My dear  bloodsuckers, we now live in a century where image is everything. Breathers  have  done research that reveals how you  look determines how people relate to you, and  therefore offer their necks to you.

Dress fabulously, feed fantastically!

I know the names Dior, Balmain, Versace and Calvin Klein are not familiar to you, and yet they must be. Let me help you reinvent yourself as an undead fashionista, an aficionado of haute couture, ready-to-wear, the Gap and Topshop.

Trust me, nightwalkers. I have worked in the fashion industry in Paris, Milan, London and New York. I knew Marie Antoinette, sewed gowns for Christian Dior and designed for Ralph Lauren. I have styled stars for the Oscars and now work inside a major fashion magazine. 

And I am a vampire. No, I’m not the only one in the fashion industry. We undead toil inside a number of  fabulously chic establishments, some even run them.

Oh, darlings, if only you knew.

 Scarlett xxxx

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Monday
Oct222012

Karl hearts humans

Victoria Beckham twitterAs we know vampires and humans barely get along. (Exhibit A- vampire Romney and human Obama. I think we can agree there is no love lost there.) But fashion is the great bond that brings us together, which is why vampire Karl Lagerfeld and breather Victoria Beckham are hanging out together, just shooting the breeze, talking frocks and models.  Just before this photo was taken Karl ate Victoria’s pants. Right after it was taken he ate Victoria. 

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